Categories
satire tasteless

L1Ph3, 4((0RD1|\|9 70 5P4/\/\ 3/\/\41L

Title translation: life, according to spam email

7|-|3$3 R $UBj3(7 L1||3$ 0Ph 3/\/\41L$ 1 |-|4\/3 r3(31\/3D r3(3||7L’/

Translation: these are subject lines of emails i have received recently

Yeah, this will be difficult reading. These email subject lines were actually fed through the “L337 Speak Converter” at www.brenz.net. Consider this to be a test of your “Leet” (L337) translation skillz 🙂

1 b3L13\/3 j00Z |\|33D 17
1 Ph0U||D 4 |\|3\/\/ 91RLPhR13|\|D 35P3(14LL’/ Ph0R j00Z
4 (0||7R1BU710|\| pHR0/\/\ 7|-|3 \/\/0R|< 0pH 90D
4r3 j00Z L00|<1|\|9 Ph0r LU><Ur’/ pr0P3r7’/ 1|\| (0$74 d3L 50L?
|-|3LL0
900D d4’/
1 \/\/4||7 70 U|\|DR355 1|\| PhR0|\|7 0Ph j00Z
1’/\/\ \/3R’/ |-|07!
7|-|3 b357 p1(|<3D 94RL1( 5UPPL13R
jU57 574R7 17
1Ph j00Z (4|\| r34D 7|-|1$ /\/\3$$493, j00Z (4|\| 937 $UP3r $4\/1|\|9$!

Categories
comedy Popular Culture satire

***** F331ing want3d, 10v3d, and saf3: 1ife acc0rd1ng t0 spam emai1*****

Additi0na1 wa5t3 0f tim3 i5 n0t f0r y0u
Am3rican5 pr0ud t0 gr0wn an 3xtra inch
An 3a5i3r T3ch 53arch f0r a B3tt3r W0r1d
Ar3 y0u h0t und3r th3 c011ar?
BBC h00dy mad3 in china
Big gir15 n33d big diam0nd5.
B0n J0vi di3d
By g3tting a dip10ma y0u wi11 5h0w 3v3ry0n3 y0ur int311ig3nc3
C313brat3 y0ur 1if3-10ng achi3v3m3nt5
D3ar G0d’5 313ct,
D035 ang3r di5c010ur y0ur 1if3
H3y, Fri3nd
H0w ar3 y0u f0r di5a5t3r r3c0v3ry?
I am int0 5h0rt3r m3n
If y0u can’t b3at th3m j0in th3m
Ign0r3 thi5 at y0ur p3ri1
I 1ik3 t0 c0nduct an activ3 way 0f 1if3
I 1iv3 in Ru55ia
I 10v3 t3chn010gy
I’m a g00d gir1 g0n3 bad!
I n33d urg3nt h31p d3ar
I N33d Y0ur A55i5tanc3
I r3a11y wanna ta1k t0
I 53arch 10v3
I 501ICIT Y0UR C0N53NT
I Tru1y D0 Mi55 Y0u
I want t0 invit3 y0u t0 1unch
I wi5h t0 hav3 g00d fri3nd5hip with y0u
J3nnif3r Ani5t0n di3d
My fri3nd5 5ay that I am v3ry fri3nd1y
N33d t0 b3 ch33r3d up
N0 m0r3 b00k5 f0r MBA
0v3rc0m3r5 G3t A11 th3 G00d 5tuff!
R3: what?
5h3 wi11 b3 happy
5ick! 0n Th3 Danc3 F100r
5t0p Dr3aming 5tart Acting
5ucc355 at w0rk i5 guarant33d if y0u buy a Harvard dip10ma
Th3 1itt13 b0y 105t in th3 10n31y f3n, 13d by th3 wand3ring 1ight
Try t0 kn0w
W3’r3 0ut 0f fu31. W3’v3 u53d up a11 0ur p0w3r.

Categories
amusement comedy Popular Culture

*****Adv1ce ab0ut 1ife acc0rd1ng t0 spam emai1*****

Here is a list of spam subject lines in recent emails. And remember: “The assurance receives the shoes” (wtf?)

  • Claim Your Winning!!!
  • Comfirm (sic) Your Winning!
  • Do you have the experience but not the Degree?
  • does anger discolour your life
  • Earn more money.
  • Earn more for a suitable life.
  • Earn more for a improved life.
  • Earn more for a effective life.
  • Earn more for a good life.
  • Earn more for a extraordinary life.
  • Earn more for a superior life.
  • Eat/Feed your Family for Less
  • Get nominated for a degree
  • Get that higher income you deserve.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a improved life.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a effective life.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a pleasant life.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a good life.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a more satisfactory life.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a prosperous life.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a extraordinary life.
  • Get that higher income you deserve for a superior life.
  • Hey About Me!!!
  • Hey, Friend
  • how are you
  • how are you doing?
  • how are you doing?
  • I Need Help
  • I Need Your Assistance
  • I search love
  • I SOLICIT YOUR CONSENT
  • If you buy a new diploma, your employer will have to raise you.
  • Impulse Buys Happen During “Use it or Lose It” Season
  • Is your skills about to expired?
  • It happens tonight
  • Stop being a fking loser
  • Stop being failure in the bedroom
  • Stop being obese and unhappy
  • Stop being so serious
  • Stop being the joke among the gals
  • Stop being the little guy
  • Stop Complaining and Deal with Your Workplace Resistance Professionally
  • Stop crying i will help
  • Stop disappointing your girl
  • Stop feeling embarrassed with your lady
  • Stop gaining weight and get the figure you want
  • Stop and Read
  • Stop hesitating, get it here now
  • Stop ignoring damn mails
  • Stop Procrastinating; Your Competitors are GSA Approved
  • Stop racking your brains for a solution
  • Stop screwing up your life
  • Stop sending me back my mails
  • Stop sending me mails!
  • Stop Spinning Your Wheels and Start Selling to the Government
  • Stop Smoking Today!
  • Stop worrying about your meds
  • Stripping for pleasure
  • Strong private parts to bang women
  • Stunning Latvian models in lingerie
  • Suffering from Premature Ejaculation?
  • Take her deep today
  • Take my mom home please
  • Take part in a sexual marathon with our qualified help!
  • Take this c0ck enlargement pi11 only if you want to attract the best women
  • Take your sexy break!
  • Talks break down, world war unavoidable
  • Tap her hole and drill her
  • Teach her how to suck your rod
  • The assurance receives the shoes
  • The enlargement breakthrough
  • The experimental refutation of the knollohoaxers
  • The finger did not feel his mouth, and his mouth did not feel the finger.
  • The first attempt at flogging the “I am credible snow” rubbish
  • The Garooz Emailmoney Tree
  • The giant rose from my boxers
  • The greatest shag of all
  • The Manufacture and Sale of Saint Einstein – Compelling stuff
  • Tired but can’t sleep?
  • Tired of being overweight?
  • Tired of being small?
  • Tired of coming quick?
  • Tired of have a small manhood?
  • Tired of having sand kicked in your face?
  • Tired of losing your erect1on in 15 minutes, or a small sch1ong?
  • Tired of weight-loss programs that don’t work?
  • Tired of your girl being unable to come when you have sex?
  • Tired of your poor health?
  • Tired with prescriptions?
  • Upsize your manhood today
  • Upsize your package easily with us
  • U have a package with FEDEX
  • Upsize your power drill
  • Wanna be more man?
  • Wanna be slim?
  • Wanna bed all the hotties
  • Wanna have eye-catching manhood?
  • Wanna meet?
  • Wanna More Sales
  • Wanna play?
  • Wanna good bang for the buck?
  • Wanna piece of action?
  • Want to see our problem?
  • Want to smile again?
  • Want to unsubscribe?
  • Want your opinion on that
  • What meal is more healthy
  • What the Traitors Are Taking from Us
  • What unites geniuses?
  • What women need
  • What your bankers NEVER told you!
  • Who called today?
  • Who can tell?
  • Who Controls The American Media?
  • Who didn’t flush, m-f-ers?
  • WHO IS JESUS ?
  • Who made America cry?
  • Who’s dead, when and what did he die of?
  • Who’s food is this?
  • You idiot, what’ve you done?
Categories
babbling Life misc Miscellaneous Musings Opinion Random Thoughts

Getting rid of the cell phone

Cell phone contracts are easy to get. Companies these days make cell phones very affordable. They are eager to sell you value-added services that you never needed to use prior to the purchase, and you are hit with a bill that can go upwards of $45 per month.

But what if you are like me? You have the cell phone, and now you realise that it is a ball and chain. I don’t just mean the contract; there is also the fact that you can be anywhere and people can get in touch with you. Well, what happened to concepts like privacy? Are there still places left on this planet where people won’t be texting me or phoning me, or emailing me? I need space; I need quiet time. I need a little freedom. I need to get rid of the damn cell phone.

Getting rid of the cell phone takes real mental discipline and concentration. The first time I tried this, I had to get past Emily, the automated Bell Telephone Fairy. The fairy could grant me three wishes, but cutting my cell phone wasn’t one of them. It didn’t understand me when I gave her a voice command to “BUG OFF!” so she sent me to a human.

From then on, I had to endure an onslaught of sales pitches as to how I can improve my cell phone experience by changing my package selections. But they didn’t see the main point: I have a land line, which in effect means that Bell dings me twice each month. I pay them $100 a month just in phone bills. They could not see that this was entirely unacceptable. They also didn’t see that this was my sense of rational decision-making and rational budgeting at work. That wasn’t allowed to enter the conversation either, no matter how rational I tried to sound. Then, they asked me for my password to get into my private account (all this was over the phone after all). I vaguely remembered making this password 6 months or more previous, but I had no idea what it was, and told them.

So, I was told that the only way I could cancel my account was to show up at a Bell shop, and show them some ID. So, weeks passed until I thought once again to go through with it, and when I did, I had to endure yet another sales pitch similar to the telephone ordeal, and finally we got down to business, and I showed them my ID. I brought my cell phone with me, but they weren’t interested in looking at it. They told me that I had to complete the billing cycle, and in 6 weeks, I would be free.

Of course, this 6 weeks did not go by quietly. I got brochures telling me to come back, we’re sorry, we didn’t mean to piss you off; I got a “courtesy” call asking me to reconsider, and after fighting them off bravely, I reached my summit, the top of the hill: NO MORE CELL PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Categories
comedy Literary parody Pop Culture

Ad parody for Windows Vista

Follow this link. It is the best Nat Lamp parody I have seen in a long in waterbury can i buy viagra at a store time. Apologies for the repost, it is being posted to several new categories.