Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part XI

Republican voters must wonder 
What sort of a spell are they under? 
Fox News says Trump's cool 
But he's Putin's tool 
Should we have to pay for their blunder?

We can't keep on going this way 
Our plight seems more desperate each day 
I think we all know 
That Trump's got to go 
There's just no time left to delay

Because he was honest and wise, 
George Washington never told lies 
But now Trump's the guy 
And his lies are why 
All over the world he's despised
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part XI

Stress made Devin Nunes get sick 
Trump told him, "This should do the trick" 
"Hey wait," Devin cried 
"That's pure cyanide!" 
"Don't worry," Trump said, "It works quick."

"Those bastards have me in a fix," 
Trump whined, "Democrats are all dicks 
I'm useless, they say 
'Cause I sleep all day 
Please tramadol 50mg buy move your hand faster, Ms Hicks"

Trump's ass was in trouble, no doubt 
He prayed to his god "Help me out" 
But Trump's god is money 
(and this part is funny) 
It turns out that cash has no clout
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part X

Stress made Devin Nunes get sick 
Trump told him, "This should do the trick" 
"Hey wait," Devin cried 
"That's pure cyanide!" 
"Don't worry," Trump said, "It works quick."

"Those bastards have me in a fix," 
Trump whined, "Democrats are all dicks 
I'm useless, they say 
'Cause I sleep all day 
Please move your hand faster, Ms Hicks"

Trump's ass was in trouble, no doubt 
He prayed to his god "Help me out" 
But Trump's god is money 
(and this part is funny) 
It turns out that cash has no clout
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part IX

There once was a VP named Pence 
Whose passion for God was intense 
He called his wife "Mother" 
Had eyes for no other 
And lacked but one thing: common sense

A filthy rich fat guy named Trump 
Saw his pageant beginning to slump 
His beauty queen cried 
Trump took it in stride 
And canned her when she became plump

Trump likes to watch hookers go pee pee 
The sparkle and warmth thrills him deeply 
Some may think it's funny 
To pee pee pee for money 
But most people think it's just creepy
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part VIII

Our president promised a wall 
The neighbors would pay for it all 
But when it came time 
To show us the dime 
All Trump could do was just stall

A well-to-do nitwit named Trump 
Was a liar, a thief and a chump 
He said "Yes I'm rich, 
The son of a bitch, 
My real name's actually Drumpf

Keebler Elf Jeffy Sessions 
Had style that just begged bad impressions 
In courtroom confusion 
He copped to collusion 
Which led to more heartfelt confessions
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part VII

While driving his daughter to school 
Trump farted and felt like a fool 
Ivanka said "Dad, 
It really is bad 
I'll just walk from here if that's cool"

What's up with Sean Hannity's hair? 
Did he mean to put his part there? 
The way that it's cut 
It looks like a butt 
I bet little kids point and stare

Some leaders like to educate 
While others just pontificate 
But ol' Trump is sly 
And I'll tell you why 
His secret is to obfuscate
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part VI

Trump met a young girl named Melania 
They went out to dine on lasagna 
He plied her with liquor 
And told her, "Eat quicker, 
By seven I plan to be on ya"

One evening while roaming the White House 
Trump wondered if he had the right house 
Melania said "Hey, 
If I had my way 
We'd live in an Uglegorsk lighthouse"

"My daughter is gorgeous" Trump said 
"I can't get her out of my head 
That tight, sexy body – 
God damn, she's a hottie! 
And one day I'll get her in bed"
Categories
politics Popular Culture

Oh yeah, and by the way: JFK Documents released

Back on 26 April, what I understand should have been the last of the JFK documents released to the general public and made available for download. Apparently, the deadline to release the last of them has been now moved to 2021.

With all the distractions surrounding Donald Trump, including those distractions Trump made for himself, you could be excused for not hearing about these rather ground-breaking developments, moving toward trying to end over 50 years of speculation and conspiracy theories.

The irony is, you can thank Trump for allowing the release of these documents. You wouldn’t know it from his preoccupation with making angry tweets about the news of the day. This would have actually made him look good, had one of his tweets mentioned it.

Since 24 July 2017, over 54,000 documents were released relating to the JFK assassination, made available largely as PDF scanned copies. A good deal of the early releases are listed as “NBR” or “Not believed relevant” on the Excel spreadsheet I downloaded, which lists the files and their links. There are hundreds of documents that are just plain illegible. I noticed a lot of newspaper clipping among the interviews and transcriptions of what must have been handwritten notes. There are also official correspondences on government letterhead., memos, and so on.

Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part V

Now that the memo's released 
And all of the screaming has ceased 
Those four little pages 
That seemed so outrageous 
Have gone from "the worst" to "the least."

Melania hated her life 
She didn't like being Trump's wife 
To deal with the man 
She thought up a plan 
Involving scotch, roofies and a knife

While styling his coiffure last May 
Trump wondered if he might be gay 
So he stuck his thumb 
Deep into his bum 
And there it remains to this day
Categories
computers Musings

My thoughts on the Logitech K380 Keyboard

The k380. Its longest dimension is 11 inches. This contrasts with my full-size desktop keyboard, which is some 17 inches.

I am writing this blog on the K380, first made by Logitech in 2015 or so. C-Net did a review, basing their experience the way I am — writing this article using it.

Starting with the most visible features, it is predictably a small keyboard. You could feel cramped if you have large hands, but then you probably wouldn’t be making a practice of writing text into a smaller device, as I am doing with the K380 into an iPad. Despite this, the space is managed surprisingly well, and the keys are well-spaced for a keyboard this small.

I am also a fan of Logitech input devices, since all of my external mice and keyboards are made by Logitech. My two PC keyboards are solar-powered (available at a range of prices — no one should pay more than $80 for it), the only ones I can find like it. I liked the concept, and they have been serving me well on my two desktop computers for several years.

I also own a small “Keys-to-go” keyboard which works nicely with my android. But with my iPad, it didn’t work so well. The k380’s behaviour on the iPad is quirky in comparison — sometimes the output would freeze, and sometimes it would be quite responsive. It was surprising that I was able to connect to the keyboard without a pairing code.

I tried the k380 on my Motorola Moto 3G cellphone, and while it recognizes it and offers a pairing code, I could not get my K380 to connect. At least, I couldn’t until I found a way to do a kind of hard reboot of my Android. I pressed the power and “up” volume buttons at the same time for a few seconds while it was shut off. This is nearly the same keypress combo as for a factory reset. I was able to avoid a factory reset, and I still have my apps, music and personal info. But be it known that an ordinary power off/power on reboot didn’t work.

Outside of that, I liked the feel of the keys, and its quiet sound.

Categories
factoids In Memoriam

In memoriam: World’s oldest living person, dead at 117

Living it up the only way you can!

There is always “the oldest living person” somewhere. Sooner or later, they will pass on, and it is someone else’s turn to be the oldest. But the demise of Nabi Tajima of Japan would not be worthy of further comment, except that it appears as though she was the last person known to have been born in the 19th century. To our knowledge, there are no longer any people born on or before 1900 living anymore. She was said to have 116 descendants, counting children, grand children, and great grand children.

In 1900, the year of her birth, she lived in a world pre-dating Jack London’s Call of the Wild, Frank Baum’s The Wizard of Oz; just before the days of films and the existence of movie theatres; there were no airplanes, zippers or toasters; no Panama Canal, no Australia, and no radio or TV — to say nothing of internet. Electronic communication was by Morse code over telegraph wires. Transport was either by horse or other beasts of burden, unless you were walking or riding a bike.

Males always seem to die younger than women, and I have found that in going through “oldest living persons” lists, oldest males are usually younger than oldest females. Of the 100 oldest people still living, only 7 are male right now. 1 in 1000 people living past age 100 live past their 110th birthday. Worldwide, there are likely as many as 600 people alive past age 110. Going by the 100 oldest living persons’ list referred to above, the number that can be verified may not be much over 100.

Nabi died of natural causes yesterday in a nursing home where she had been living since 2002.

Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part IV

Not clapping for Trump is now treason 
A big deal to him for some reason 
He's so full of crap 
Why bother to clap? 
With luck he'll be gone by next season

Republicans say we're unfair 
For laughing at Donald Trump's hair
That orange cotton candy 
He thinks looks so dandy 
Came straight from the New York State Fair

"What sanctions?" Trump asked insincerely 
"The Russians are our allies, clearly 
Obama's just jealous 
Of me and the fellas 
'Cause we love the Motherland dearly"
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part III

Of Putin no ill has Trump spoken 
Such words anyway would be token 
As Trump's critics know 
His bluster's for show 
Vlad's end would leave Donald heartbroken

What sort of man needs a parade? 
Is this moron in the fourth grade? 
His hour of fun 
Will cost US a ton 
It won't be his money that's paid

An ass-kissing Fox shill named Hannity 
Takes pleasure in stroking Trump's vanity 
His audience buys 
Each one of Trump's lies
Thus perpetuating insanity
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part II

Without any apprehension 
Trump screwed McCabe out of his pension 
He never gets tired 
Of saying "you're fired" 
Or increasing national tension

Said Donald, "I just had to try it" 
So Stormy got paid to be quiet 
Republicans blamed her 
Evangelists shamed her 
Trump did what he does -- he denied it

Controlling guns seems a lost cause 
The NRA writes its own laws 
Trump plans to do naught 
'Cause his ass is bought 
It's an endless parade of last straws
Categories
politics satire

Todd Taliaferro’s Trump Limerick series Part I

A YouTube viewer who goes by the name Todd Taliaferro posted a comment on YouTube that showed a prolific hand at making limericks (link here). His series of limericks goes on for some 45 or more stanzas. I was so impressed, I am going to post three of these per week.

Trump's "University" was a scam 
It put Trump once more in a jam 
Sure, Donald's reptilian 
But twenty-five million 
Makes even rich bastards go "Damn!"

McMaster done sealed his own fate 
By bad-mouthing Donald's soul mate 
Though his words were true 
Trump gave him the screw 
Which helps make America great

Trump's secret is Putin's paid trolls 
Their propaganda fooled the polls 
With Trump's sneaky lies 
They tricked the unwise 
Who still choose to act like assholes

 

Categories
humor humour Popular Culture

Google Autocomplete Follies

Humans are a curious species. We like to ask the questions about why things exist/happen/not happen, and so on.

When I built my search engine questions, I began with the word “WHY”, then gradually built on that, one word at a time. Now, I pass on the list of questions to you.

If the list of Google autocomplete suggestions which is to follow is taken to be the true distillation of human thought, we seem to be very preoccupied with aches and pains, bodily functions, and weather events, and not a whole lot outside of that.

WHY

⦁ him
⦁ is the sky blue
⦁ don’t we
⦁ him cast (sic)
⦁ do whales beach
⦁ am i so tired
⦁ are you running
⦁ do cats purr
⦁ am I always tired
⦁ do we yawn

WHY DOES

⦁ my cat lick me
⦁ my dog lick me
⦁ it hurt when i pee
⦁ salt melt ice
⦁ ice float
⦁ my stomach hurt
⦁ my head hurt
⦁ my jaw hurt

WHY DOES IT

⦁ snow
⦁ snow in Canada
⦁ rain
⦁ always rain on me
⦁ hurt to swallow
⦁ hurt to poop
⦁ hurt to have sex
⦁ hurt to breathe
⦁ hurt when I cough

WHY DOES IT SEEM

⦁ like everyone is rich
⦁ impossible to lose weight
⦁ impossible to get a girlfriend
⦁ hard to breathe
⦁ hard to swallow

WHY DOES IT NEVER

⦁ work out with guys
⦁ snow in London/Manchester/Swansea/England/Florida
⦁ snow on Christmas
⦁ snow
⦁ rain in California
⦁ get dark in Alaska

WHY DOES IT ALWAYS SEEM

⦁ to be (Phil Collins lyric)
⦁ to rain at night
⦁ to rain on the weekend
⦁ to rain on Good Friday
⦁ to be my fault

Categories
Science and Technology

Today’s weather: Frantic!

A mere run-of-the-mill storm brewing in the Alberta prairies.

I just want to go over some of the phrases I have heard to describe weather. So far, we have heard of

  • thunder snow
  • polar vortex
  • bombogenesis
  • derechoes
  • meteotsunami

Of course, this is in addition to those boring old hurricanes, avalanches, whiteouts, monsoons and tornadoes, which are so “old school” that perhaps nobody cares anymore. And now meteorologiests have invented something else for us to worry about:

  • bomb cyclone

I swear they must pay someone to sit in a back room somewhere to create some way to sensationalize the weather with invented terminology. The fact is, it is enough that tornadoes alone this year have given us much to worry about along the redneck rivera states (a new term I am expanding on to include Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Texas and Mississippi — states along the Gulf of Mexico — here is the “known” definition) and other states in the Southern United States. So have droughts, which led to the forest fires all along the west coast of North America, from southern California to British Columbia.

I am aware that these extreme weather conditions are a part of global warming, and I am not going to deny that. I am against inventing new terms when perfectly good ones exist. Using existing terms, along with some kind of quantification (like wind speed, air pressure, temperature, wind chill, and so on) gives us a way to compare these weather events with earlier ones so that we can make up our own minds. Giving things a unique name obscures any attempt at comparison, which I think results in disinforming the public rather than informing them.

Categories
Hope In Memoriam inspiration

In Memoriam December, 2017

There are a lot of notable people who have passed away this year, but I think I got sidetracked on the ones that have died just this month. Here are some of the people whose lives I have found most interesting, alphabetized by first name:

Ákos Császár.

Hungarian topologist and discoverer of the toroidal polyhedron that bears his name, was given much recognition of his achievements over the years, passed away at age 93.

Alexander Harvey II

An officer during World War II, Alexander became senator, then nominated as federal judge by then-president Lyndon Johnson. Died at age 94.

Bernard Sherman

Founder of Canadian generic drug company Apotex Pharmaceuticals. The billionaire drug manufacturer and his wife Honey were found dead at their home. The deaths are being treated as “suspicious”, although there appeared to be no obvious evidence of a break-in. Bernard was the 12th wealthiest Canadian, worth some 3.5 billion dollars. Honey Sherman was 70, while Bernard was 75.

Bruce Gray

Played Adam Cunningham in the Canadian drama series Traders. He was in Star Trek; he was in soap operas such as The Edge of Night and All My Children. But he is most famous for playing the father of the groom Rodney Miller in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

 

 

 

Carolyn Cohen

A Long Isand-born professor emeritus from Brandeis University who did research into motor proteins. Those are the kind of proteins that turn chemical energy into mechanical work. Examples are proteins that drive flagellum in single-celled organisms. Motor proteins also help conduct cell division in all of our cells. She was 88.

Clifford Irving

An investigative reporter who got caught writing a fake autobiography about the late Howard Hughes. While the controversy was very public and the charade quite compelling, the fake autobiography was never published. The hoax was uncovered over phonecalls from Hughes himself to the few people left who knew the voice of this reclusive billionaire. After his trial, conviction and release from prison, Irving continued to write various books to what appears to have been a forgiving audience. All of his papers, memoirs, and even journal entries while serving in prison have now been made publically available in the years since.  He was 87.

Dominic Frontiere

Composed theme music for The Outer Limits, and The Flying Nun. He also composed for movies such as Hang ‘Em High. However, he was in trouble legally because he had also scalped tickets for the 1980 Super Bowl on a fairly large scale and then failed to report the proceeds to the IRS. He was 86.

Ed Lee

First Asian-American mayor of San Francisco, elected in 2011 and served until his death at age 65.

Felix “Fil” Fraser

Fil Fraser

Montreal-born broadcaster, was a radio announcer in seemingly all parts of Canada, including Toronto and his native Montreal. He was 85.

Gerald B. Greenberg

Film editor involved in blockbuster films such as The French ConnectionApocalypse Now, and Scarface. He was 81.

Gerald Tulchinsky

Historian of Canadian Jewry, died at age 84.

Harold Levine

American mathematician who studied wave motion. He enjoyed sailing, and was remmebered as being well-dressed, deeply cultured, and open-minded about science and math ideas. He was 95.

Jack Felder

American Biochemist, known for his studies in germ warfare with the American military. Also wrote several books on Americana, un-related to biochemistry. He was 78.

James Thompson

James Robert Thompson, founding chair of the stats department at Rice University in Houston. Known for his sage advice to his doctoral students, and involvement in military defence, he is survived by his wife Ewa Thompson, also an emeritus professor of Slavic Studies. James was 79.

 

 

 

Jan-Erik Roos

Roos was a math professor from the University of Stockholm in Sweden, who was one of the few who seemed to make it to the status of math professor without a whole lot of formal math training beyond high school. He was 82.

Janet Elder

News editor at the New York Times, known for her humanity and adaptability in adverse situation involving the reporters under her watch who were given assignments overseas. She succumbed to cancer at age 61.

John Oberlander

Specialized in computer studies, and getting computers to talk and write like people, and by extension, adapting to end users. Passed away suddently at age 55.

June Rowlands

First female mayor of Toronto, starting in 1991. There is a public park in the Davisville neighbourhood named after her. She died at age 93.

Keely Smith

Iconic jazz singer who is best known for singing tunes such as: “That Old Black Magic”, “I Got You Under My Skin”, and “Bel Mir Bist Du Schoen”, and recording on dozens of albums over 5 decades, died at age 89.

Marvin Greenberg

Founding chair of the math department at the University of California at Santa Cruz whgo published his lectures on topology. He was 81.

Pam Warren

Otherwise known as Pam the Funkstress, was prominent on the San Francisco Bay Area Hip Hop scene. She died of organ failure at age 51, following an attempted transplant.

Pat DiNizio

Pat Dinizio

The lead singer and songwriter of the American band The Smithereens, had succumbed to numerous health issues and injuries over recent years, and has died at age 62.

Patrick Henry

A murderer in France, whose life imprisonment was instrumental in events leading to the abolition of the death penalty in France in 1981. He died at age 64 of lung cancer.

 

Categories
Canada politics

Catherine McKenna taking things personally

Federal environment minister Catherine McKenna entered a heated exchange yesterday with a right-wing nobody from a far right-wing website which nobody reads that I can’t bother to look up the name of. This happened in Vancouver in front of a small scrum of journalists which included more recognizable outlets such as the CBC, CTV, and The National Post.

The far right-wing nobodies referred to her as “climate change Barbie” on their website. No one would have cared about or known about this had McKenna acted as their publicist by giving this crank website the kind of publicity they could never have purchased at any price: a public outing and heated discussion in front of national media that attracted all kinds of attention. It really doesn’t matter if the journalist at the brunt of the discussion is ashamed to work with such a pack of neanderthals (he should be), or even admits to being ashamed (which is not clear). It doesn’t matter whether the journalist was part of the problem or part of the solution in spreading sexist descriptions of female politicians. What matters is that this backwoods website had been catapulted into the national consciousness and national conversation and thus have the appearance of being taken seriously, when it was completely un-necessary.

Why give vent every time some third-rate reporter from some obscure website utters something offensive about women? If they were ignored, no one would care. After all, this is how journalists on the left had been ignored for years. This technique has been well-known to politicians for a long time; but I guess someone forgot to tell McKenna.

Categories
computers quotes satire

The ABCs of auto-complete

Filling out “What is _____”?

The rule is: write a word or two about the first topic I see from the autocomplete dropdown.

Antifa: antifa=”anti fascist”
Bitcoin: (I swear, I am just following the first thing I see!) an alternate currency used to purchase items online. (blockchain, a term related to bitcoin, came in third)
climate change: Big topic. Good luck with that project, kids.
DACA: The acronym for an Obama-era immigration programme called “Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals”, currently under threat by Donald Trump.
eid: A Muslim festival
fentanyl: a painkiller, too powerful for humans
gout: pain, too powerful for most people. Just try not to use fentanyl.
hpv: human papilloma virus
instagram: a way to share photos and videos via your smartphone
justice: a clothing store for young girls.
kombucha: a fermented Chinese tea
lupus: people seem to have a morbid interest in nasty diseases so far, don’t they?
ms: see?
nafta: an agreement which drains manufacturing jobs to Mexico, while causing Mexican to do the same work in squalid conditions for a fraction of the wages.
osteoporosis: a leaching of calcium from the bones, causing them to weaken.
pinterest: why is this at the top of google? I would bet that the site is something like “pinterest.com” — isn’t that worth a try to find out first-hand?
queer: a gay or lesbian person. The Google dictionary did not offer that as a definition, by the way, which is rather queer, to use the Google definition.
room temperature: 68 fahrenheit or 20 celsius.
Sarahah: Great. Another app which provides a way to harass others anonymously.
transgender: sense of personal identity does not relate to thei r biologically-assigned sex.
uber: Outstanding or Supreme; also a transport company.
vpn: virtual private network
whole milk: milk with around 4% milk fat
xanax: a mood drug
your name: yes, that really came up first for “y”
zip code: doesn’t apply to me, I don’t have a zip code