Google Autocomplete Follies for 2024

I haven’t done one of these since a posting in 2018. Here are humanity’s frequently-asked questions that wound up as autocomplete prompts to questions starting with “Why”, just as before. And just like before, things have changed little over 6 years. We’re all still a bunch of self-obsessed hypochondriacs.

Google Autocomplete Follies, 2024

WHY

    • women kill
    • is my poop green
    • is the sky blue
    • is google stock downhill
    • is my eye twitching
    • am I always tired

WHY DOES

    • my throat hurt when I swallow
    • gojo wear a blindfold
    • roblox keep crashing
    • my pee smell

WHY DOES IT

    • hurt to pee
    • hurt to poop
    • snow
    • hurt to breathe
    • hurt to have sex

WHY DOES IT SEEM

    • like everyone is rich
    • everyone has adhd
    • that time goes by faster
    • like everyone is dying
    • like everyone is in a relationship
    • everything is going wrong

WHY DOES IT NEVER

    • snow in London
    • snow in Georgia
    • snow in California
    • snow in Florida
    • get better

WHY DO

    • I fart so much
    • we yawn
    • cells divide
    • hiccups happen
    • we need food
    • we sneeze
    • we dream

Views: 323