I haven’t done one of these since a posting in 2018. Here are humanity’s frequently-asked questions that wound up as autocomplete prompts to questions starting with “Why”, just as before. And just like before, things have changed little over 6 years. We’re all still a bunch of self-obsessed hypochondriacs.
Google Autocomplete Follies, 2024
WHY
-
- women kill
- is my poop green
- is the sky blue
- is google stock downhill
- is my eye twitching
- am I always tired
WHY DOES
-
- my throat hurt when I swallow
- gojo wear a blindfold
- roblox keep crashing
- my pee smell
WHY DOES IT
-
- hurt to pee
- hurt to poop
- snow
- hurt to breathe
- hurt to have sex
WHY DOES IT SEEM
-
- like everyone is rich
- everyone has adhd
- that time goes by faster
- like everyone is dying
- like everyone is in a relationship
- everything is going wrong
WHY DOES IT NEVER
-
- snow in London
- snow in Georgia
- snow in California
- snow in Florida
- get better
WHY DO
-
- I fart so much
- we yawn
- cells divide
- hiccups happen
- we need food
- we sneeze
- we dream
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