No one knows what the “H” in “Jesus H. Christ” stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis’ middle name was “Aron” or “Aaron”.
Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8 )
Jesus said: “Love thy neighbor.” (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: “Don’t be cruel.” (RCA, 1956)
Jesus said: “Man shall not live by bread alone.”
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.
Jesus is the Lord’s shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis’ first band was a trio.
Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)
Jesus’ entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis’ entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.
Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 “comeback” TV special.
Jesus said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.” (John 7:37)
Elvis said, “Drinks on me!” (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)
Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)
Matthew was one of Jesus’ many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis’ many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)
“[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow.” (Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.
Mary, an important woman in Jesus’ life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis’ life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.
Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.
Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.
Jesus’ Father is everywhere.
Elvis’ father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.
Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis’ favorite high school class was wood shop.
Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.
Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate.
Elvis’ face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold through TV.
Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.
And moreover, Elvis and Jesus were never seen in the same place at the same time.
— Gleaned from some old Usenet posting more than 10 years ago, probably by a collection of writers.