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Famous Teetotalers 013: She’s a little bit country, and he’s a little bit rock and roll

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[Video Monday] Ocean – One More Chance

A professional audio engineer calling himself mojofilter seems to have made a reputation for himself with his plethora of old and new Canadian hits transferred from vinyl or some other analogue source into digital form. I have showcased a few of his transferred recordings already. You can click here to subscribe to his YouTube channel. […]

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[Video Monday] Tom Middleton – One Night Lovers

Tom Middleton was another seventies artists who spends these days delivering mail for Canada Post in Victoria, BC. He had four hits in the mid-70s, this one being from February of 1976, peaking in Canada at #35, and never charting in the States. If you listen carefully to the intro, you can hear a guitar […]

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[Video Monday] Gary & Dave – Could You Ever Love Me Again

Gary Weeks and Dave Beckett had a handful of minor seventies’ hits that were popular in Canada from around 1973 to 1976. The son of Gary, Jesse Weeks, now works as a police officer for the Toronto Police Service.

The hit song below is their biggest hit “Could You Ever Love Me Again”, which peaked […]

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Crappy Album Covers #187 — Food on Vinyl IX

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen to the sub-series that never ends! FOOD ON VINYL!

Martha and her ugly sister greta were in bed sleeping when they were awaken by a rumbling outisde their room. They followed the rumbling to the kitchen, when, suddenly, they were attacked by snacks! Marauding hamburgers, with evil eyes, flying through […]

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Crappy Album Covers #186 — A Parent's Horror

A parent’s horror: Ukuleles. On tour, no less. Pay admission, you get to hear a whole orchestra of them.

 

Few people can make a ukulele sound good. This is an elpee’s worth of toons from a group of classmates, possibly from Halifax, by Order of Canada recipient J. Chalmers Doane and a group […]

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Crappy Album Covers #185 — Family Bands II

Available for $21.00 on some websites, this 1977 album features siblings Rick, Jack, Toby, Jill and Carrie who hail from Minneapolis, and according to Bizarrerecords.com (click on image) they still are performing as grownups. Comedians John and VickiJo Witty are here with their album called “Family Portrait”. Not sure about their style of humour […]

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Crappy Album Covers #184 — The International Language of Bad Taste V

In the multilingual universe that is the international CAC-o-sphere, we see three guys with pasty complexions and one chick sporting skin tones of a living being.

Honestly — do we have to see the pasty complexions twice — once again in their reflections?

A direct translation of the title might be uninformative, but “Look […]

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Crappy Album Covers #183 — Chixdiggit!

What is the problem with this picture? It would seem as though, despite all of the efforts of these four lads to entice the two swimsuit-clad young ladies to join them (hell, what lady wouldn’t be impressed four guys wanting to form a human pyramid?), there is a major logistical problem: There are only […]

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Crappy Album Covers #181 — Plainness, overdone

Currently selling on E-Bay for about 15 bucks, Bobbi Jean White’s album “Higher Ground!” shows Ms White sporting the bouffont she was well-known for.White had been singing gospel since she was a child in Georgia. She had recorded dozens of albums either solo or with other groups, then became a radio announcer beginning for […]

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About the Great American Songbook

I once was listening to my favourite Jazz station in the Toronto area when I heard the announcer say something about The Great American Songbook (GAS). It was one of those phrases which kind of rolls off the tongue and seems to have no real meaning, but is a phrase often used by announcers at […]

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Crappy Album Covers #173 — Genre confusion

This is the second album released by The Ben Folds Five, called “Whatever and Ever, Amen” released in 1997, and remastered in 2005.

The combination of seepia photos of the band members against a tablecloth background is unbecoming of an alternative record. Maybe a Johnny Cash album, if he was still alive. Or for […]

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Crappy Album Covers #172 — Scary warlike thingies

Let’s get something stright here. Just because there are scary warlike thingies on your album like the Transformer dude on this Linkin Park record, doesn’t mean it’s a cool record, OK? It might impress a 10 year-old, but not many older people. Bodies of men with heads of birds as a warlike thingie has […]

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Crappy Album Covers #160 – Elvez Prezley

This would be the soundtrack to Elvis’s first comedy, GI Blues, released in 1960 by Paramount Pictures, where he acts as Tulsa alongside some token girl named Juliet Prowse, who plays Lili. This is not Elvez, but “El Vez” (The Time), played by Hispanic smart aleck Robert Lopez. He is not strictly an Elvis […]

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(Adult Content) Crappy Album Covers #159 — Another rule: Male nudity doesn't work as well

Men and women both buy records. With this idea in mind, I have no idea why it is that female nudity sells even the crappiest records, while male nudity doesn’t. I am not a marketing psychologist, so I have no idea why that is.Yes’s 1977 album “Going for the One”, which sold certified Gold, […]

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Crappy Album Covers #158 — Ladies of the low-rent district

Harris Glenn Milstead (1945-1988) was a transvestite entertainer, whose live CD “Born to be Cheap” was issued posthumously in 1994.

He died a week after the release of the movie Hairspray, which he acted in. He was going to audition for Fox’s Married with Children, but died of an enlarged heart before arriving. The […]

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Crappy Album Covers #157 — Full-cover faces

Paul Simon’s 2006 album “Surprise” has a baby’s face with the requisite surprised expression. Probably surprise at having the top of its head cut off by the upper photo, which is a depiction of some kind of bluey-watery-reflection thingy. Who knows what that’s supposed to convey? Hydrocephalism?

The album boasts participation from big talents […]

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Crappy Album Covers #156 — Sounding Off

Post-grunge group Caramel’s only album sports an angry cactus with bad teeth. There is a fable in this one, consisting of a “good” witch who cast some evildoer into the body of a cactus where the town lives happily ever after, but I am not sure that is what was intended.

Allmusic.com places this […]

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Crappy Album Covers #155 — Dylan in Concert

In May of 2007, Rolling Stone’s web-based tentacle asked readers what the 10 worst albums of all time were, which were recorded by the great artists. You are looking at the #1 album.

While “Down in the Groove”, Bob Dylan’s 28th album has been nearly universally reviled, the problems I have with it are […]

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Crappy Album Covers #153 — The International Language of Bad Taste IV

The name of this album by Norwegians Arnold Børud and his three kids does not survive translation into English very well. The English cliche “On The Go” is what we are supposed to be reading.

The three kids are Thomas, Linda, and Ole Børud, forming the “Børud Gang” or Børud-gjengen. The group was later […]

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