Crappy Album Covers #327 — Already knowing your cover is crappy

I don’t know about you, but this album, by El Tadeo, is being sold by everybody from Napster to Amazon to websites as far-removed as Japan. The reason I am sure it sells so well, is because this is a comedy album with explicit content, which is dull if all you know is English. As you would guess, this album is in Spanish.

I guess El Tad expects us all to plop it on our turntable and just let it happen. But I know what’s going on. El Tad is channelling the late John Lennon, who oft times wore a toilet seat around his neck in some of his early concerts. Soon, El Tad will be thinking he is more popular than Jesus. Let’s just pray he doesn’t let this toilet seat thing go to his head … doh! Too late!

The LP was reissued as a CD in 2009. I couldn’t find the year of the original pressing.

Putting cutie monsters in a child-style drawing on the cover does not excuse Alphabutt from the overall grossness in concept. Year unkown. Kim Dawson appears to be somewhat of an activist and has at least 6 albums out.

Elvis and Jesus

Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

No one knows what the “H” in “Jesus H. Christ” stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis’ middle name was “Aron” or “Aaron”.

Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8 )

Jesus said: “Love thy neighbor.” (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: “Don’t be cruel.” (RCA, 1956)

Jesus said: “Man shall not live by bread alone.”
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

Jesus is the Lord’s shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis’ first band was a trio.

Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

Jesus’ entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis’ entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 “comeback” TV special.

Jesus said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.” (John 7:37)
Elvis said, “Drinks on me!” (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

Matthew was one of Jesus’ many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis’ many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

“[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow.” (Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

Mary, an important woman in Jesus’ life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis’ life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

Jesus’ Father is everywhere.
Elvis’ father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis’ favorite high school class was wood shop.

Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate.
Elvis’ face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold through TV.

Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

And moreover, Elvis and Jesus were never seen in the same place at the same time.

— Gleaned from some old Usenet posting more than 10 years ago, probably by a collection of writers.

Forgiveness

As I understand it, forgiveness is something that is given after the other party has admitted wrongdoing. If they had not, then forgiveness is futile, except maybe in one’s mind. In other words, if I had wronged you, and I don’t say I am sorry — in fact, I refuse to even acknowledge that wrong was done — then it would sound absurd for you to say to me “I forgive you”. It falls on deaf ears. I know I said that before, but it is worth repeating. There are a lot of wrongdoers in my life, who seem to have a warped sense of morals, who think in their own minds they have done nothing wrong; that they are perfect somehow.

I guess for some people, the two simple words “I’m sorry” are the most difficult words to say in the English language. It is an admission that you are not perfect, and with it an acceptance, I guess, of a certain loss of self-esteem (which seemed too high to begin with). After that, there should be an attempt to make up for it — a reparative justice, like the Greeks used to do.

But it seems for some people, it has gone beyond that, especially where rape and other forms of irrepairable harm was committed.