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Crappy Album Covers #190 — I Can’t Count

Hiroshi Uchiyamada (1936-2006) and The Cool Five are a Japanese group that proves that not knowing how to count is not merely a symptom of brainless white North American schoolchildren anymore, if it ever was. Determined to smash through Oriental stereotypes (after we sing a tune, join us for some Calculus!), the Cool Five […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #190 — I Can’t Count

Crappy Album Covers #189 — Faerie Dust

This is likely a late 70s release from the Hungarian prog rock group Omega. If it makes you feel any better, there is a 2002 album by them called Time Robber where they are all dressed in black.

This is supposed to be spacey and experimental and the cover makes it look like some […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #189 — Faerie Dust

Crappy Album Covers #188 — Sex Education

The sexual education of our young is the one touchy point in our society. And whether parents are really saying the right things is what worries counsellors and psychologists all over the world.

 

Look at the father on the left presumably talking with the young boy. Hopefully, the father is not “showing him […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #188 — Sex Education

Crappy Album Covers #187 — Food on Vinyl IX

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen to the sub-series that never ends! FOOD ON VINYL!

Martha and her ugly sister greta were in bed sleeping when they were awaken by a rumbling outisde their room. They followed the rumbling to the kitchen, when, suddenly, they were attacked by snacks! Marauding hamburgers, with evil eyes, flying through […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #187 — Food on Vinyl IX

Crappy Album Covers #186 — A Parent's Horror

A parent’s horror: Ukuleles. On tour, no less. Pay admission, you get to hear a whole orchestra of them.

 

Few people can make a ukulele sound good. This is an elpee’s worth of toons from a group of classmates, possibly from Halifax, by Order of Canada recipient J. Chalmers Doane and a group […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #186 — A Parent's Horror

Crappy Album Covers #185 — Family Bands II

Available for $21.00 on some websites, this 1977 album features siblings Rick, Jack, Toby, Jill and Carrie who hail from Minneapolis, and according to Bizarrerecords.com (click on image) they still are performing as grownups. Comedians John and VickiJo Witty are here with their album called “Family Portrait”. Not sure about their style of humour […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #185 — Family Bands II

Crappy Album Covers #184 — The International Language of Bad Taste V

In the multilingual universe that is the international CAC-o-sphere, we see three guys with pasty complexions and one chick sporting skin tones of a living being.

Honestly — do we have to see the pasty complexions twice — once again in their reflections?

A direct translation of the title might be uninformative, but “Look […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #184 — The International Language of Bad Taste V

Crappy Album Covers #183 — Chixdiggit!

What is the problem with this picture? It would seem as though, despite all of the efforts of these four lads to entice the two swimsuit-clad young ladies to join them (hell, what lady wouldn’t be impressed four guys wanting to form a human pyramid?), there is a major logistical problem: There are only […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #183 — Chixdiggit!

Crappy Album Covers #182 — Something Missing

Former trucker Vance Edwards should know better than to pose in front of a trailer without the requisite truck. And I, along with many other bloggers in the CAC-o-sphere question the use of unintelligible yellow patches on eithr red or blue clothes. The electric guitars and keyboards that could not possibly be plugged into […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #182 — Something Missing

Crappy Album Covers #181 — Plainness, overdone

Currently selling on E-Bay for about 15 bucks, Bobbi Jean White’s album “Higher Ground!” shows Ms White sporting the bouffont she was well-known for.White had been singing gospel since she was a child in Georgia. She had recorded dozens of albums either solo or with other groups, then became a radio announcer beginning for […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #181 — Plainness, overdone

Crappy Album Covers #180 — The standards and the classics

Elva Miller (1907-1997) made her claim to fame with purposefully bad Ethel Merman imitations where she sung songs from the Great American Songbook out of tune, along with many other kinds of well-known songs.When Mrs. Miller “Does her Thing”, I think the message here is that it is time to run and hide. You […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #180 — The standards and the classics

About the Great American Songbook

I once was listening to my favourite Jazz station in the Toronto area when I heard the announcer say something about The Great American Songbook (GAS). It was one of those phrases which kind of rolls off the tongue and seems to have no real meaning, but is a phrase often used by announcers at […]

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Crappy Album Covers #179 — Strange Cowboys

No idea who this cowboy wannabe is, but Gercei Camargo’s idea of being a cowboy — and a singing one at that — is to wear something strange over his nether region (looks like a kilt with a cushion) and frilly pants over his cowboy boots. Sharon McNight’s “Another Side Of” was likely released […]

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Crappy Album Covers #178 — Why they have trouble getting laid

Red candy stripes on men’s suits was one of those fleeting styles for maybe a month or two in 1975, before someone, somewhere said ‘wtf’, and the style became passe, if it ever was de rigeur.Maybe he really does want to work as a volunteer candy striper at a hospital. I still think he […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #178 — Why they have trouble getting laid

Crappy Album Covers #177 — Hi, mum!

Little information exists on Mr. Woodruff, so I just have to say that he seems to be too young in the photo to know how he feels. Maybe his English teacher told him for the first time to write about something that made him angry or happy or whatever.

Nathan feels like wearing a […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #177 — Hi, mum!

Crappy Album Covers #176 — Un-subtle and Cliche

Supertramp could have done better with their fourth album, “Crisis? What Crisis?”, released in 1975. Their artistic skills, which served them so well for songwriting should also be reflected in their choice of album cover. The title and album cover says utterly nothing original, even by 1975 standards. Creator of what O’Donnel and Guterman […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #176 — Un-subtle and Cliche

Crappy Album Covers #175 — Thinking you have something important to say

I guess anyone who ever wondered what had happened to the members of Milli Vanilli after Rob Pilatus (1965-1998) and Fabrice Morvan were outed to being nothing more than two good looking guys lip synching someone else’s music, need wonder no further. By 1990 they went by the name “Rob + Fab”, and had […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #175 — Thinking you have something important to say

Crappy Album Covers #174 — The Return of Monsters!

Oh No! It’s monsters, again! Time to run and hide. Judging by this monster with granny glasses, you don’t need to run that fast. This self-titled record was released in 1982, and again in 1983, as an attempt to revive ’70s-style hard rock. were the granny glasses meant to convey a message in that […]

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Crappy Album Covers #173 — Genre confusion

This is the second album released by The Ben Folds Five, called “Whatever and Ever, Amen” released in 1997, and remastered in 2005.

The combination of seepia photos of the band members against a tablecloth background is unbecoming of an alternative record. Maybe a Johnny Cash album, if he was still alive. Or for […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #173 — Genre confusion

Crappy Album Covers #172 — Scary warlike thingies

Let’s get something stright here. Just because there are scary warlike thingies on your album like the Transformer dude on this Linkin Park record, doesn’t mean it’s a cool record, OK? It might impress a 10 year-old, but not many older people. Bodies of men with heads of birds as a warlike thingie has […]

Go to article Crappy Album Covers #172 — Scary warlike thingies