Facepalm newsoids #39 – Food in the News

Food, such as this oven-ready, brown-n-eat, taste-flavoured eating substance.

Dr. Pepper beats Pepsi. Earlier this month, in the fight for second place, the soft drink Dr. Pepper, owned by the food giant Keurig Dr. Pepper, is now leading a trend for unusual soft drinks to enter the market, and is now selling second only to Coca-Cola, putting Pepsi in third place. (3 June)

Pondering Pizza Prognostications. Domino’s Pizza has made a huge investment in Microsoft AI, betting on its ability to predict your order the minute before you place your order. When it thinks you are “ready to order”, the process of pizza making has already begun. This is based on a press release from Microsoft’s MSN website, released last week. (7 June)

Going hardcore for Grandma. MacDonald’s has figured out that your grandma liked ice cream treats with butterscotch and syrup mixed in, along with some crunchy stuff. This is apparently part of a trend started by TikTok influencers and Gen-Zers, known as “Grandmacore”. (21 May)

Popping Pringles. 40 year-old Adam Spencer, a resident of the county of Nottinghamshire in England, went on a shoplifting spree of grocery stores around the county and, among his booty, was 17 tubes of Pringles chips. He was arrested by officers in Nottinghamshire, and in his confession, offered his rationale for stealing Pringles: “Once you pop, you can’t stop”, borrowing the product slogan. (2 June)

Coffee for Giuliani. Because he can’t find accountants willing to care for his finances, former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani has taken to peddling a brand of coffee bearing his name as a brand to reduce his debts which are now running north of $148m USD, not counting what he owes in court settlements. He has three flavours of coffee: Decaf, Bold, and Morning Coffee, selling for $29.99 USD, and he has put up a website advertising it. Giuliani himself has been unavailable for comment, and has in fact made himself invisible to law enforcement, who has been searching for him to serve him a summons for some months now. (21 May)

 

 

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